Stop waiting for it to make sense
This one is edgy, even for me…
No, seriously…
Stop waiting for permission. Stop waiting for the stars to align. Stop waiting for people to get on board with the vision. Where you are going, not everyone is meant to follow.
This has been a key realization in my journey toward living a purpose-driven life. In one of my oldest songs I write “I can’t live inside your dream and still have mine”. Still true.
Years ago I was sitting in a gong bath meditation. I was led to find my “happy place” within my mind. My happy place is always the same- a beautiful, cliff-side oasis in Spain. White stone steps lead into a single story adobe home with lots of windows. But if you walk down the steps, it leads you to a garden filled with butterflies and bees and flowers. There’s a giant, old willow tree and a stream that falls off the cliff-side and joins a giant roaring river far below. This place feels like home, though I have never been.
While I was in the meditation, walking around my paradise, I found myself suddenly curious as to where my parents were. I started asking around (there are other people in my paradise - it’s a community of sorts). Everyone had a confused look on their face. My search became more frantic as I started running around, pushing past people shouting “Mom!…Dad!”. But they were nowhere to be found. And then it hit me like a pound of bricks:
Where you are going, they won’t follow.
Oof. It was in that moment that I realized I had been waiting for permission from my parents to start living my purpose. I was waiting for support and understanding. Honestly, I was waiting to convince them that it would be a worthy life to live…. But in that moment I realized that they may never get on board, so I had a choice. I could wait, flounder awhile, directionless and fearful, hoping to one day say the magic words to persuade them into understanding who I am and what I feel I am mean to do…. OR I could start taking steps in the direction I knew I was meant to go, and leave behind my attachment to their “support”. This doesn’t necessarily mean severing the relationship, but an emotional cord cutting might be helpful. So I decided:
I no longer could live on the leash of my parent’s approval.
Bottom line is that you can’t bring everything from your old life into the one you want to create. Often times your new life will cost your old one. It’s a choice.
And I am just gonna sneak this in here because it helped me: When I finally decided to show up fully, I thought only of all the people I would be fighting against and disappointing. What I forgot to anticipate was all the love, support and overwhelming POSITIVE RESPONSES I would receive.
So don’t get hung up on what could go wrong, instead lean into the curiosity of what can go right!
You got this. I am proud of you already. 🫶