Healers Anonymous

Did we lose sight of the goal?

This Friday marks 8 years in Austin, TX (minus my year in Playa del Carmen, Mexico). This is the longest I have been in any one place as an adult, and though moving here is one of the best decisions I have made, it has not come without its hardships, heartaches, and head-spinning moments.

For example, I moved here as a married woman, with a dog and cat, and a very different set of expectations -pause for dramatic effect, as I am sure this is news to some of you-. Now I find myself single-as-a-pringle, five years post-divorce, and with very different dreams for the future.

The shifts that have taken place in this past chapter are innumerable and some of the best things that have happened to me, despite the not-so-delightful processes.

I consider myself very lucky. Lucky to have loved and been loved. AND Lucky to have had a life-shattering event that was the catalyst for so much healing, ultimately.

When I first started my healing journey at the tail end of my marriage, I thought I would primarily be focusing on the devastation of what had just occurred …along with maybe some religious trauma work… (I can’t help but chuckle when thinking of how much deeper the work ahead would actually be). How many layers of my own self I had to unravel to get where I am now. How many ideas and programs I had to deconstruct in order to step forward in life. How many modalities I would try in search of it - It, being healing.

🤔 The funny thing about healing is that there is no finish line, or even clear goalpost. I personally think healing is more of a lifestyle choice - a decision to stay painfully aware of our own humanity.

And sure, that includes our shortcomings and trauma… but I think healing is also seeing our own beauty and the unique gifts we bring into the world, and most importantly - not shying away from them!

It’s noticing when we make a different choice, have a different reaction, or have new or different needs. And it is most definitely celebrating our wins!

I find it can be helpful to create little goals in my healing journey as to recognize all the changes I AM making.

However, because there’s no finish line when it comes to our healing journey, it can be easy to get caught in the eternal-incubator stage. Like picking a scab, over and over again, there will always be fresh blood - and with that, new things to heal.

But what if we let healing come in the decisions we make with intention, rather than putting a microscope on every blemish on our emotional body?

I think “healing” can become an addiction.

Like any other earnest endeavor (working out, eating clean, etc), there has to be checks and balances in the healing journey. Anytime something becomes all-consuming, it takes us out of the joy of being human. And in my humble opinion, isn’t THAT the whole goal?

So… I am not saying to halt your practices, stop therapy, or put down the really helpful book you’re currently reading… but simply ask yourself what your “end goal” is.

Thanks for listening to my babbling. Does this land with you, or am I talking to my own demons? 😅