It’s giving “no”
It’s the season of GIVING!
Giving gifts…and invites…and time…and energy…
I always say that holidays are the best time to put boundaries to the test. Mostly because it can be the most challenging time to stick to them so there’s plenty of opportunities to practice!
There’s a lot of social pressure during this time, so it can be really helpful to take time aside to check in with yourself and plan ahead. Future you will thank you for the steps you take this year.
Now is a great time to carve out new traditions, create just-for-you rituals, and let go of things that no longer serve this current version of you.
It could feel uncomfortable to create new dynamics and habits, so be gentle with yourself. You don’t need to set ALL your boundaries all at once.
Give yourself grace in the process, knowing that boundaries are an act of self-love.
Here are just a few things to consider this season:
Lifestyle Boundaries
It’s easy to overlook some of these especially in the season of GIVING. These are personal to YOU and YOUR NEEDS.
What are my boundaries with spending this season? (consider gifts, events, travel, etc)
What kind of dietary guidelines should I keep in mind this season?
Do I even want to travel this season?
Social Boundaries
Celebrate your little heart out! Just help future you by not burning out in the process. Before you say “yes” to another invite - check in with yourself and consider more than just your schedule.
How much socializing can I realistically handle? (and consider what kind of activities truly recharge you)
What would feel supportive when planning gatherings? (ie maybe it’s time to delegate)
How late do I want to stay out?
Family Boundaries
Oof. This one can be a big one for some. It can be amazing to finally reconnect family again for some, and also it can come with some awkward or stressful moments. Plan ahead for uncomfortable conversations. Get some responses ready in your back pocket if you need to. ie “This is not something I feel comfortable talking about with you”.
How long do I want family staying at my house?
What topics am I comfortable talking about?
When and how will I schedule alone time or recovery time?
Work Boundaries
Pro Tip: If you take time off, take time OFF.
Set up that ”out of office” email, leave the work phone at home, and turn off notifications!
What loose ends should I tie up before I am unreachable?
What AM I available for while I am on vacation?
How can I plan ahead for potential overwhelm when I return to work?
This is all an act of self discipline DEVOTION.
You are allowed to celebrate the way you want, and communication is key. Letting people know you have different priorities this year, that you are creating new traditions or that you want to honor your needs, will go a long way. Only YOU know what you need - so give others the gift of clear communication this year (since we humans haven’t yet mastered the art of mind reading) 😵💫
Above all - be gentle with yourself! There’s no need to shame yourself. Just your desire to advocate for your needs is a huge deal! One small step at a time, my love. You’ve got this.